Baconlightenment

From The Holy Church of Bacon

Representation of a vision described by a person who has attained Baconlightenment.

Baconlightenment, or Baconirvana, is the ultimate goal of all Baconists. It occurs when one completely understands and accepts the existence of Bacon as the most importance substance.

[edit] Advantages of Baconlightenment

Baconlightenment offers numerous benefits. For instance,

• You fully understand the ways to cook bacon to perfection
• There is little to no sorrow in your life (due to eating bacon)
• Bacon tastes even better

[edit] Disadvantages of Baconlightenment

• Increased risk of heart disease (but offset by an incredibly strong connection to the Baconic Weave)

[edit] The Universal Baconic Weave

A 2-dimensional model of the Universal Baconic Weave. Note the fluctuations into the 3rd dimension; they are analogous to the real Weave's similar fluctuations into the unknown.

Our division of Quantum Bacophysics is currently attempting to prove their theory of a Universal Baconic Weave with their search for the elusive Heggs Bacon particle at the Large Frying Pan collider.

[edit] Possible connection with Baconlightenment

Baconologists have long since thought that the construction of the Universal Baconic Weave will nearly immediately provide Baconlightenment to the constructor. Recent field tests throughout the world has shown substantial evidence against this, however. To test it yourself, construct your own bacon weave.

[edit] See Also

Baconirvana

Baconivination